The World in 2100,
It is the year 2100 and the world is allot different from when this site was actually written in 2007. The world has upped to a population of 12 Billion, the world has united as the Inter Galactic Federation.
Today the world has now got contact with alien life forms including the Farlaragans who have set up colonies on Jupiter and the Maragians each on Jupiter. each from other systems in our galaxy. Earth has colonised Venus and Mars. Earthians have been barred from Jupiter as we smell to much. But the galaxy people just love the great classical art of Earthian humans, such as Plato, Shakespeare, Burns, and Lonympics. They all find Lonympics the wittest and most incisive website there is.
Sometimes aliens visit Earth and look at all the touristy stuff for them such as human masks, and hats where antenate stick out of.
Also some humans with lots of deodrant can visit their lands where they buy things in their culture such as some of our media that has gone to their lands, like alien idol, and football. Aliens do not do well at football but are getting better. Recently the Marsian human team, won the World Cup too.
The world cup last year even allowed a alien team in which finished only second bottom of their group.
Some aliens are very good at basketball and some at being jockeys as of their heights.
Aliens are sometimes shocked at the sheer inteligenece of allot of great Earthian philosophers sucvh as Lonympics. Anyway thats enough of that joke,
Some aliens have unusual names such as the doo doo people, and the moo moo people.
Some have unusual ways of talking for instance some can onloy speak ironically, which cam seem very rude or complimentry depending on the occasion.
Earth now has saved many of its great creatures which is very good to alien safari people.
The world has changed allot, for intstance tunnels are everywhere, so you can even go by rail to antartica, and see the small colony of people there,
Sometimes the penguins follow the train for scraps
Sometimes the lead penguin as they .learrned to talk off escaped gorillas raid the trains, but not much.
Now people can drink via alien inventions via 2 metre long straws, the problem is many try and drink 2 metre long snakes which is very unhealthy
Also their are flying cars but some people have rocket boosters to clean them while ypu are on traffic lights
The problem with the rocket boosters is they often make people go too high and come back later for dinner
Also there are under sea houses their problem is that they sometimes are sat on by whales,
Another problem is for homes that float on rocket blasters as seagles and birds land on them
The talking gorillas have thier own state in Antartica by the penguins and a space fleet.
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More jokes
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A comedy To do list http://www.lonympics.co.uk/todolist.htm
A site on the scottish league of the imagination
http://www.lonympics.co.uk/ImaginaryScotishleague.htm
A site on giant sloths
http://www.lonympics.co.uk/giantsloths.htm
A site saying some ideas of how to improve yourself
http://www.lonympics.co.uk/improveyourself.htm
A wise man is asked on who wants to be a millionaire, as the freind, and the presenter hears him looking through the books,. so he is chuecked off. if you would like to see a site my this guy go to http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokeapedia.htm
You know, I saw some of our fellow Scots, chanting for the English team, last week, yes they were shouting Inca Land, inca land, sorry I got that wrong they were shouting Inca land, inca land, as Peru were playing England, Iam sorry for any offence I have caused
I saw Dr Who, and a man was covered in writing as he was posssesed, all over his face, and arms, and body, i did that trick, for my maths exam,
They end animal experiments, and the monkeys and other animals, knock, on the doors, saying please let us ****** back inm, guive us back the ****** cigs, and alcholhol, where f****n drinking,
Bruce Areana the US manager of soccer 2006 world cup so famous, he had the JFK arena namesd after him
What is a toilet roll in a posh restraunt, a rol,l that all the staff do the toilet in, for the most absusive paedophile lairy, talkative lower class and upper class peop,e,
People say be yourself, what, lie down all day, taking a nap, 24 hours a day,
People say there, are less personalities in sport today, on the fac of it there is good proof, of that, look at the way Steve Davis, in the 1980s, was regarded as boring even though when you see him on the tv, you don;t really want to to change the channel, while today the most so called famous wild child, is a rubbish pop star married to a model, who is arrested fropr drugs, and crime, all the time, and most people say of thism, guy borrring,
The standard of education today is terrible, I went to a school, and only 9 out of 10 of the students could recite the complete works, of shaespeare, while doing a hand stand. the other, did it while jumping with them too.
My cat is a disaster, waiting to happen, I call him astrophic,.
What do you call a surgeon with constapation, dr doo little
When I am in Scotland, and I am feeling lazy, my favourite drink is a can a be bothered,
I always go into local burger bars, and take out all tehe straws they have, and keep one there, I always say this is the last straw, then I get served first, as they think I am angry
I always go into gyms, and say to people who are lifting weights with their legs, on those machines, take the weights off you r feet have a rest
George Bush recently concentrated a new propsal, of a 6 month inflation target in 6 months he will find out what inflation is,
I always take nuts with me in all my pockets in the morning to work, so if anybody hits me, I can hilariously say, you kicked me in the nuts, your sentoff
I always buy oveer 12 year old Age limit things for my nephew, as he is a baby, and so I cam have them
I was seen sunbathing in the local supermarket freezer department, I was doing it to practice for my dream holiday in Antartica
A rich man comes back from a small monarchy where the king makes all the women undress for him naked and dance for him, he chooses the wives, this man is the king's friend, he comes back and says why are we so hang up about clothes, and nakedness, he makes his servants walk around naked, and looks at them naked all day. and is arrested,
I had to leave my LA mansion, as my neighbours were too stupid, yes, I had to look after their cats when they were away, Then when I was out, I left the notes of what they had to do. I wrote a note saying remember to feed the cat, but by it I has one saying remember 2 ink carts, that was to remind to buy 2 ink cartridges, sadly he saw this one, and inked my cat's feet in ink each day, and sent the prints to the police, this saw me have to leave, as my cat suffered, and lost the cat trophy
A guard of honour has to stand still, loadfs of people, go up to him, and try to annoy im, in many ways, and do not stop his face staying the same, I go up, after a day on the bus there, he says, as of the smell, Well I can't stanmd around here all day, things to do things to do,
You think 2 bouncers are the same, and they run after you, And the next to last of our last jokes pages, of our many joke pages
100s of Websites http://www.lonympics.co.uk/
Which Welsh historical figure would be a good country and Western singer, Llewellyn
Just imagine a Yorkshireman, and a Texan met they would be saying I call a spade a spade, and all that then sell a shovel to eachother as a spade, they would get angry that each was being so honest, and be angry in the end.
I saw a tv programme about marine biology, one seemed to very rich, he said he got 1000 squid a day
What was that brown squishy gold, you found in the sewage station
I heard in Glasgow in the 1980s there were ice cream wars between rival gangs, the guy who won though lost the big thing, the Custard Pie wars. They were throwing custard pies at eachother
What about those radio shows which have people phoning in and asking for songs for their loved ones, what if all the male ones is the ame man, i mean everybody else would have so many phone calls they would not get through so only 1 would get through, and so he would be the only one who phoned, and phoned for all his misstresses the adulterous fool
If Jack was Italian, in Jack and the Beanstalk, he could have got away with selling the cows for beans as his Mum, would have said, have you been to the market, and he could say, Iva beensa, But Pinochio of course was Italian. So it was almost true. And the Golden Goose is a Russian legend.
I told my brother I ate that joke doodoo, from the joke shop he left by my car tyre from his dog, he feigned that he did not leave it, there, then I had to have my stomach pumped, it turned out it was a joke after all,
The standard of vet care at times is terrible they say I'll just chicken on him, why would would I want a chicken on my cat