A guide to soccer from An American soccer fan

Hi I have just finished watchin' my 1st UK soccer game. I have started supportin the Manchesters. I’ve got a chance to watch the Manchesters of England v Glasgow Celtics in the Euro series. The winner get's through to the Euro play offs, for the eurobowl. I'm watchin the game for free, but, there is alot of interest in the series, and the locals would pay a handful of dollars or should I say euros to watch this game.

So pardon my English old boy, as you say, but I am going to point out a few basics, about soccer or as the English call it foodball, for those of you who do not understand the game.

Here is the Gameplay

Two sides play in each game.

The object is to get the ball into the other sides goal by hitting the ball with your feet or head. The other side has to stop the ball going into their goal, with their head or feet, interceptions, and the umpire whistling. And then they have to get the ball into the other sides goal. Then the 1st side has to stop the second side scoring too. The side that has got the ball into the others side goal the most wins. It is like homes runs, except you cannot hit the ball out of the park you get no scores for that. Basically to put it simply soccer is like baseball. Except fourth base is the goal. The job is don't let those offence guys get to fourth base.

Basically the have a line in the middle of the ball park where the sides kick off from.

Conferences

The EPL is like the national conference, it contains 20 franchises, but they have different clubs each year. Three sides that are't doing well get chucked out to the minor leagues, every year, and 3 lucky sides get put in the league instead, they are from the minor leagues. Imagine if this happened in the NFL Relegating the Dallas Cowboys for some side from nowhere.

Each year they have a play off between the league champions and the FA cup champions, this is the league cup, this decides who the English superbowl champs are.

If sides are level at half time they play extra time which is a euro way of saying Overtime, if the teams "draw" then the match is replayed. This is why the sides play so many matches.

The conference champs of each state in Europe play in the Eurobowl with 3 wild card sides from each state, these sides go through to the play off series. Then the champs play in a game like the superbowl to decide who are the Euro bowl champions.

I support the Manchesters. AKA The reds, red red, the redities, the readies. They play in red, they're like the Yankees, or the cowboys, of soccer.

They have signed some good players over the fall, Carrick was got on a draft. There most valubale player is Rooney, he plays wide reciever. Van Nistleroy left, and has given up English soccer to play in Spanish sports for a Really Spainsh side. Another player they support is Ronaldo he plays as a sort of running back. Another star player is the readies quarterback, this crazy guy Van Der Sar, who spends his time in his own box slam dunkn the ball in his own half, except he just catches the ball, and punts it to the wide reciever. Why the guy does this is beyond me. Every side seems to have one I don't know why they don't just carry the ball up the pitch and shove the ball it in the other sides . Except the other guys quarterback would probably do the same and make the others players wasted. I don't know why the boss doesn't just play 11 quarterbacks.

The game I saw.

In the end the Celtics won the match at the ballpark. Some Japanese guy scored with a curveball, from a field goal, that the quarterback could not slam. Well done Nakamura he stepped up to the plate, and he got a touchdown. The Celtics did swing for the fences. They must have thought it was Thanksgiving, Happy thanks turkey Day Celtics. In the end the Man U boss failed, he did call a timeout. This is why you Euros need us to win your wars. three strikes, and you're out.

Next week I am going to watch a game they call rugby. Some sport they think is like football, except, get this, they can't throw the ball forward. Wo, try telling Montana "you can't throw the ball forward, you have throw it backward" that quarterback, what do they do turn the other way round and throw it with theior eys closed.