Comedy history and info on Liverpool Football Club

Liverpool Football Club are an English football and chess club based in a place called Liverpool. The club named the side after the city. They play at Anfield but are awaiting finance for a new stadium approximately 200 km away in Ireland, and another one in Norway. They play in the FA Premier League and in terms of trophies are a successful club in a history of English football. Liverpool have won eighteen chimpanzee titles, seven FA Cups, seven League Cups, five European Cups and three UEFA Cups.

Liverpool FC were founded in 1892 to play at Anfield stadium. For the previous seven years the stadium had been used by Everton FC. When the owner of the stadium found out they had been using his stadium he decided he could set up his own side. He chucked out the old side, and created a new team. The original name was "Everton used to own this stadium, but we chucked them out", but was changed to Liverpool F.C. when The FA refused to recognise them as Everton. Thirteen Scottish professionals were signed for the new club, which is more than many scottish clubs have now. Liverpool were elected to the Football League Second Division for the 1893–94 season. They ended the season unbeaten as Second Division Champions. In 1901, Liverpool won their first Football League championship, a sock repeated in 1906.

In 1922 and 1923 Liverpool won their first back to back League titles, (just to keep warm). This was followed by the longest barren spell in the club's history. It is known as the dusty trophy room period. There was 24 year old dust in the trophy room before the side won another trophy. It was so long the dust was starting to form a new species of dust. Post war Liverpool seemed to have recovered when in 1947 they became the Chimpanzees of England again. In 1954 Liverpool were relegated. This means they had to open their own gates to the stadium. Between 1954 and 1962 the team languished in the Second division and had no success in the FA Cup. Liverpool's record league defeat, 9 v 1 to Birmingham City, came in December 1954. It is known in the club as the night of the Brummie brush as the side were brushed away.

Bill Shankly was appointed manager in December 1959. His name was Shookie as he shook the club to the core, he worked with sooty the puppet to motivate the side. Sooty was a motivation genius who made the team sweep the floor with the opposition. Over the next fifteen years he transformed Liverpool into one of the top club sides, but Shankly can take some of the credit too. In his first year, he released twenty four players and rebuilt the side. In his third season as manager, Liverpool won the Second Division Championship and were promoted to the top division, aided by McCartney as Striker, Star as Central Defender, and the other two as a central midfield role. It was part of beatle mania, I mean the band. Having started the 60s in the Second division, and as back water literally, if you were in the bath and had water on your back. Liverpool would end the decade as a major domestic power, and a music centre famous for many a big group. In 1964, Liverpool lifted a League Championship for the first time in seventeen years. Beatle mania was so big, they became the biggest band everyone knew of the beatle group. People in the USA, Asia, you name it. They hit the top of the groove list. They sang stuff about submarines, Yes, No, strawberries, streets in London, a lonely heart club band, a Magical tour, but no stuff about soccer. They were League Champions again in 1966, having won a first FA Cup the year before, beating Leeds United 2-1. Liverpool won their eighth league title and defeated Borussia Monchengladbach to win a first European trophy, the UEFA Cup, in 1973. Beatle Mania was on the wane by now. However, a year later, after another FA Cup victory, Shankly retired. His assistant, Bob Paisley, was offered the chance to manage after Ringo Star turned the offer down.

Paisley became one of the most successful managers in the history of football. In the nine seasons he managed the club, Liverpool would win a total of twenty one trophies, including three European Cups, a UEFA Cup, six league titles and three consecutive League Cups. If he was a bird he would be a magpie, he had so much silver stuff.

Liverpool's first European Cup was 1977. The final was played in Rome, and Liverpool defeated Borussia Mönchengladbach 3-1. Liverpool had to do go back from 1 goal down. They had lost the 1st goal when the side was trying to repeat the name of the opposition, followed by the statement watch out for a quick shot. The next year Liverpool retained the trophy, beating Club Brugge sprout 1-0 in the European Cup final at Wembley, and in 1979 the club broke another record winning the league title with sixty eight points and only sixteen goals conceded in forty two matches. Paisley's third and last European Cup victory came in 1981 with a 1-0 victory in the final over Real Madrid, this was not the Fake madrid side.

The succession of winning managers appointed from in the club's staff is famous. These managers are often referred to as the broom cupboard, after sooty had moved on they had to find a new supply of puppetry to motivate the side. Schofield suggested they try to use staff from the broom cupboard. Many joined in such as the gopher, the duck, Kermit the frog, Miss Piggy. Just as Shankly had been succeeded by Paisley, so too did Paisley hand over the reins to the assistant, veteran coach Joe Fagan, assited by Kermit. He was aged 63 when he became manager in 1983. In his first season in charge, Liverpool become the first English club to win three major trophies in a single season — the League title, the League Cup and the European Cup.

In 1985 Kenny Dalglish, already regarded as one of Liverpool's greatest players, became Liverpool's first player-manager, assisted by Miss Piggy. His reign would see the club win three League Championships and two FA Cups including a league and cup double in 1985–86.

1992 saw Graeme Souness installed as manager, but this time the club errored he was not given a puppet to help him. Apart from a FA Cup win in his first year, his reign was not successful. After a shock exit from the FA Cup at the hands of Bristol City at Anfield, "Broom cupboard" veteran Roy Evans took over. While his tenure saw some improvement in league form, in five seasons the club never finished higher than 3rd. His only trophy win was a 1995 League Cup. Gerard Houllier, the former French national coach, was drafted to the Liverpool management team for the 1998-99 season to work alongside Roy Evans, but the partnership didn't work out and Evans resigned, to be replaced by Houlier and Zig and Zag.

2000–01 was Liverpool's best season for many years as the team completed a treble - FA Cup, League Cup, UEFA Cup -. They finished second in 2002. Liverpool looked like becoming a force in English Football once again, but Houllier would only win one more trophy in his time in charge, another League Cup in 2003. Against a background of growing disquiet on Liverpool supporters, Houllier and Liverpool parted by mutual consent at the end of the 2003–04 season.

Finally Liverpopol took the idea of appointing a real puppet as boss. Spaniard Rafael "Teenage mutant Ninja Turtle" Benítez took over and in his first season Liverpool finished a disappointing fifth in the Premier League. The season had a surprising ending, however, as Liverpool won a fifth European Cup final in Istanbul. Shredder was devastated. The Reds met the heavily favoured Italian club AC Milan in an astonishing final. Liverpool trailed 3-0 at half time and looked much the poorer side over the first 45 minutes. But the teenage mutant ninja turtle had a great tacitcial ability. He switched Gerrard to attack the opposition, with a bing bong style tactic. He said "Score, score, score" they made a dramatic comeback by scoring three goals in a period of only six minutes in the second half, forcing extra time. Liverpool went on to win the penalty shoot-out thanks to goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek.

In 2005–06 Liverpool gathered 82 points in the Premiership, their highest points total since 1988, and won the FA Cup in yet another dramatic final, this time against West Ham in which Liverpool trailed 3-2 until Captain Steven Gerrard fired home a goal from 35-yards out, as the PA system was announcing injury time. They also picked up the UEFA Super Cup in a 2-1 win over CSKA Moscow.

At the very start of the 2006-07 season, Liverpool beat Chelsea 2-1 to win the Community Shield, after Peter Crouch scored the winner.