Comedy Chess

Jokes about Chess

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When some says checkmate, say oh thanks buddy and pretend he said check

When someone says stalemate, says I thought the cheese was OK.

Or I had a bath yesterday

Or it has been a long game.

We should have a communist chess where every one is a pawn, or the top.

What about a everyone for themself chess, every character has one boss, like

Why is the Rook, not able to fly over the ones.

Deep Blue won at chess, which means it is a check e-mate

I was banned from using the internet at work. After playing internet chess, after i said that i had lost my pawn, someone thought I had said porn.

Everyone says it was embrassing for Kasparov the master of the game to lose to a computer, what upset him was when he found out the computer referred to the knight as the horse head, the rook as the tower, and the pawn the prawn.

That joke was so good I entered it in a competition

What is the favourite sea food of a chess player? Prawn (pawn)

Castling

The ruler expects the queen to sacrifice, for him, who invented this game, Henry the eigth

fifty move rule, that is

How about chess where everyone is for peace, so it is who can not capture the other one.

I was playing a cheat who did not know how to play chess. I knew the game was dodgy when i came back to find he had a put a house, on my side of the board, and had claimed he had bought mayfair.

I bought a horse that is very clever as it won two out of three games, then I enterted it in a race, but just when it got to the finish, it smiled at the camera, and said check mate, then went two steps forward and one to side.

How about having a Chess board made of cheese makin' a cheese board

Black squares, and white squares, why can't we have a four way chess.

If you lose in a Fool's mate, then the opposite player is the mate of the fool.

What about a new move the spy move, everyone get's one go where they can take over another turn of the other player

The Super Computer is playing the World Chess Champion, and beats him, by saying all the time, whats that behind you, and then moving pieces,

How does a Chess player intimidate his opponent, he puts a Knight piece on the pillow beside the player,