Comedy history and info on D.C. United

DC United is a professional soccer club in Washington, D.C. that participates in Major League Soccer.

The club's nickname is the Black and Red and home uniforms are black and white with accents of red. This is to represent the USA flag. They had run out blue ink so had to use black ink on the design. The team name refers to Washington, DC being the capital of the United States, everyone thinks this is New York.

Washington was named after the famous Washington. A man who won independence for the USA.

Just imagine he had been called Mr United, or Mr America. Then the name of Washington DC United would be United United, or Amercia United. Or what if his name had been wirnot. Then it would be Wirnot United.

Or if he had, had a rude name then the USA would have to have a rude name as their capital. Then people would say I am just going too ....... (put in place "rude name").

The club was one of the founding members of the MLS in 1996 in the league's early years the most successful of all the sides. They have won every trophy. Except the scrabble trophy, which goes to ZZXYY City. United won the first double in modern USA soccer history in 1996.

United's primary rival is the New York formerly known as the MetroStars. A team that play home games in the Underground train stations. The two teams compete annually for the Atlantic Cup. DC United also has a rivalry with Charleston Battery of the United Soccer Leagues, as they compete every time they face eachother for the Coffee Pot Cup, a trophy established by the two sides' supporters. They have not decided if it is instant, non instant or decaffinated.

The team suffer from a terrible draft, that blows through the ground, but one day the draft blew in a great player his name was Adu. Adu was officially selected by United with the first pick in the 2004 MLS SuperDraft. When Adu entered United's regular-season opener as a second half substitute on April 3, 2004, he became the youngest player in any professional sport in the States since 1887, apart from the cows in rodeo.

In 2005, the club made MLS history by becoming the first US based team to ever participate in a South American club competition, entering the Round of 16 of the Copa Soap Sudamericana.

In 2006, United played well against international competition, beating Scottish champions Celtic F.C. 4-0, a very lucky win that does not make US soccer better than Scottish soccer. The scottish side had jet lag. They drew with Real Madrid 1-1 in Seattle. In addition, the MLS All-Star Team, which included 8 United players, managed by United's manager, defeated English champions Chelsea 1-0. United, by virtue of winning the 2006 MLS Supporters Shield, will represent MLS in the 2007 CONCACAF Champions Cup. The team will also host the 2007 MLS Cup.