Comedy Golf

Jokes about Golf

Funny how the harder i practice the funnier i get

At the nineteenth hole.

Player: I tried to break the record. I got a bogey, at the final hole

Club chairman Wo bad news

No it had been stuck up my nose all day, it was great to get rid of it

I got a albatross at the fifth hole

I know with global warming thre flight route has been affected.

I got the ball to a few feet of the flag, if your name is big foot, or the abominable snowman

Wow did you see that shot i got, it in the hole. I mean i hit the tee into the hole, it is pitty the ball is nowhere near it.

Have you got a tee?

Wow hold on their we can eat at the nineteenth hole.

Playing golf with your doctor, the doctor says, now it is your tee shot.

Why do i require a tea injection, is tea dangerous.

Have you had a tee shot.

You do not have to laugh at it. Tee Hee,

During world war two two Russians are playing golf.

Player two hits the ball very hard, and neither player can see where it went.

Then Player one says to player two "You have hit the ball into the bunker"

Player two says "how do you know"

Suddenly a dictator, with a short moustache, runs out of the bunker shouting I cannot believe they got me.

I got the ball into the hole it is birdie!

yes you got the ball into that hole in the hollow tree, and it made that barn owl fly away.

I did very well in that game, at every hole you kept saying four, I must have broken my record.

No you hit the ball over the place I kept saying four so people would duck.

This course is so tough the fair way should be named the unfairway.

What is the Putting Green

Where I make putty.

I had an problem caddy after he did not have my stuff.

I remember the converstation.

Have you brought the clubs?

You said we were going to the club? I thought you meant the dance club, maybe we can use this cane you use in tap dancing as a golf club and these castanets as a golf ball

Ways to cheat in the sport

Train a mole to carry a ball, from your opponent when it is gone in the hole, to a few feet from the hole. Or to swap the ball with one of your ones.

Train a bird to carry your ball very far.

Ways to make the course tougher

Make the sand green so a great player thinks they should aim for the bunker.

Use different flags, so the player has to choose which flag to hit the ball to.

Make the green into crazy golf

Put cling film over the hole

Put a hologram hole

When I am playing golf, I shout four when I am picking my nose, and bogey when I am taking the tea shot

This is the best page on Golf Jokes, I have seen, the bottom one was the best Golf Joke.