Comedy Ice hockey

Jokes about Ice hockey

This comedy will warm your comedy funny bone.

Our goaltender has been bribed to lose the game

Well I guess, he had to accept the highest bid after all he is a goal "tender"

The puck (ball) is construced of hard vulcanized rubber

How did they get to Vulcan? Did Spuck help them.

Our goally is called the ice man

Is that because hs is cool under pressure?

No because he plays on ice. All the players are called the ice man.

They use a puck

I suppose when a team get defeated by alot they feel like they will puck.

Why do they name it a hockey rink?

It is smooth ice and does not have wrinkle

I like the way they call it a National Hockey League

It is two nations, it should be the nations hockey league

Our player has a managed to do a breakaway

Wow, he only has the goally to get past!

No I mean he has booked a day away.

The game is level , and next it is overtime

Ok let's go home, it is a pitty the game ended in draw.

The other player scored why did you not check him

I did offer, but he said he only took cash.

Headmanning

Why does the referee not like to iron his clothes,

As he has to have a referees' crease on the rink

This game is at a break, it is on ice

I know ice hockey is played on ice

I want to have a drink at the break. I will have a fizzy drink, and give me some ice.

But you are playing on ice. Why not just lick the ice.

It is unhygenic.

Our goally is so talented they call him the snow plough

What not to say to the boss

I just did some shopping, boss. You don't mind if a I bring the frozen stuff onto the rink with me

Boss, can you bring me a drink during the game don't worry i have ice.

Wow, it is cold on this rink tonight, lucky we brought these warm coats.

Boss, I like the way you gave us these sticks to help us balance. but could you tell the other team to stop hitting that funny shaped object around we find it tough enough to stay up.

Ways to cheat

Build a iceberg in front of the goal.

Build a snowman in front of the goal.

Then disguise the goally as a snowman by painting his nose orange.

Hire a figure skater who can be more skilful than the other sides, by carrying one of his team over the other side.

Pile a lot of snow in front of the goal.

Make the rink slope