Comedy Tennis

Jokes about Tennis

For once the line "You cannot be serious" is true

Juice, o thanks love

Umpire: Juice

Drink server How many

Umpire 15 - love

Wow he is thirsty

Umpire: Serve

Ok then

Wo they say humans, have alot to answer for, but why did they let hawks take so much of the influence, with that Hawk-Eye, i suppose he must be flying above the court.

the pigeon is often a distraction, to a hawkeye, or a female hawk is a distraction. This is why Henman is often overruled.

Why do they not let the hawk, sit on the shoulder of the umpire, or a talking bird, it could say out, in "who's a good shot then".

Umpire says Albatross.

Tennis player: says No that is golf.

Umpire says no watch out there is albatross.

If hawk eye had been around in the days of Boris Becker, he would have been Boris Beaker

Why do matches allways start at about ten, but not exactly? because it is Ten - ish

Some guy once said Grass court was for cows.

Does that mean clay is for Morph.

How about a playdo court.

grass, clay, or a hardcourt, how about a soil court, or a rubber court,

That seat the umpire has, his dinner table must be pretty high.

What is a tiebreak?

It is when the player has to refasten his tie.

That ball was on the line!

Paint the entire court as a huge white line so every ball is on the line.

The umpire is allways against me, I don't know what is biggest racket, this event or the racquet I play with.

Tennis court

That makes the umpire the judge, each player is a barrister, the scoreboard is the jury.

Ways to cheat in tennis

Buy a racquet with ball on a string, for the other player.

Call yourself Mr Lonympics Win by 6 love 6 love 6 love.

When serve hit the ball and pretend you hit it so fast it was not able to be viewed, then get someone in crowd to present a ball as if it hit the court and bounced out into the crowd.

Use a hologram for the ball.

Be a ventrilitwist, who can pretend to be the umpire.

Use your trained hawk to splat on the court if losing, to cause a stop.

Train your hawk to pick the ball up and drop it when the other player is on the wrong part of the court.

Bribe the hawk with bird food