Comedy American football - football

Jokes about American football AKA gridiron

The superbowl of comedy

What do football players eat their food out of?

A Supper Bowl

What do you call it when the pitch has rained off?

A Mud Soup er Bowl,

Someone goes into the stadium and ask for a quarter back after they dropped it. The Coach says you can have the whole team as far as I'm concerned.

I am the Wide receiver.

That is why I have an aerial on my head.

What is the quarterback?.

It is when a team loses a quarter and asks for the quarter to be replayed.

What is a quarterback?

It is when, a team has played two dimebacks and a nickel formation adding up to a quarter back.

Our team is so impatient they don't do rushing they do Swooshing

I thought you said the draft player was the best rushing player

No I said he was best at flushing the toilet.

I thought you said he is the best Rushing player on the draft

No I said he was the best Russian on the draft..

Why is the team that gets the best youth player windy?

Because they have the biggest draft.

Why do you keep touching the ground with your hand?

Because I heard you get six points for a touchdown

What does a team eat their dinner on?

At the line of scrummyage

Why is one of Defensive players standing in crowd shouting to support to the backs, when he should be on the pitch?

He is a Linebacker.

We call our

Why do the football players where shoulder pads?

Because they want to be like yuppies, from the eighties.

Jokes about team names

What team would Yoggi Bear support?

Chicago Bears

What team are the biggest in size?

New York Giants

What team get a given a fish everytime they balance the ball on their helmet?

Miami Dolphins

What team are the loudest?

New York Jets

What team like to tackle the other team.

St. Louis Rams = As they like to lock horns.

What teams do the bird derby

Baltimore Ravens, Seattle Seahawks, Atlanta Falcons

What teams do the fly derby

Baltimore Ravens, Seattle Seahawks, Atlanta Falcons, New York Jets

We call out defensive lineman the fridge because h keeps a sandwitch in his back pocket.

Ways to Cheat

Paint the ball as a helmet.

Put a name of the opposition on both end zones. Then get touchdowns at both scores.

Use inflatable shoulder pads that can intake helium that causes you to fly over the other player.

Create a 200 yard line for the other team to be sent too.

Just build a line of fridges on the end zone.