Joke ideas to win in gambling
you could say this is a JOKEy website
Bet
Internet a Internet gambling site
Bet on every horse in the race, you will win no problem.
Bribe the horse with grass. Even if it does say neaah.
Tell the other horses to go the other way around the track.
Put a photo infront of the camera used for the photo finnish showing your horse winning the race.
If you lose tell the bookie that it was all a joke bet.
Tell the bookie you meant to bet on the other horse.
Put a carrot in front of your horse and dangle it in front of it's nose.
If your horse is in the lead try and give the impression to the bookie that the race has finnished.
Whatever the result give the impression to the bookie you won the bet.
If your horse is losing spread a rumour that the race was fixed then get your money back.
If your horse is losing, showing a picture of horse with lipstick to the other horses to put the other horses off, this will distract them.
If your horse is losing by alot give the impression to the bookie that this was another race, and the horse is catchting upwith another race.
In a football trophy, bet on all 3 possible scores, win lose draw. This way you will win, and be able to impress the betting fraternity, due this in baseball.
If your team is losing in the football, throw another ball onto the pitch.
In poker if you are losing, claim you thought it was strip poker this is especially useful if you are ugly.
In poker try using monopoly money, or real chips.
In poker try saying oh I have just got to go to the toilet then climb out of the window.
In poker say when you are losing, when you said to come up for the poker match, I thought you meant I was supposed to poke the fire, with the poker. This isn't fair you brought be here under false pretences.
When betting on the election, say you are a time traveller, and was betting on the lection after the next one, and this explains why you wrote the wrong date.
By the way gambling is dangerous and addictive so is not advisable .
joke websites
http://www.lonympics.co.uk/Jokesfreeforusebyrsmith.htm
Serious websites
How evil Kings destroyed Congo in the 19th Century