Do you like a laugh, then why not buy some Joke products from this Joke Shop CompanyOur second page of jokes which are just other people's jokes, A Victorian Joke"Is your mistress in?"
"She is, sor."
"Is she engaged?"
"Faith, she's more than that - she's married.""Bridget, where did you get that dreadful eye?"
"Me brother gave it to me, mum; and what will the neighbours say? Me with an eye like that and no husband."How indicative of Victorian values, I oppose domestic abuse, and think wife beaters, and those who like them are a disgrace, whether male or female,"I'm afraid our new housemaid is dishonest." said the wife.
"Come now, my dear," answered the husband, "you should never judge by appearances."
"I don't" was the answer, "I judge by disappearances."Smith: "I say, Brown, why do you wear that shocking brown hat?"
Brown: "Because my wife declares she won't go out with me until I get a new one!"An Example of Shakespearian Humour "I am famished in his service! You may tell every finger I have with my ribs." the joke here is that he was fat, It is OK for me to have copied that joke, as I was a bit fat for a while,

A Joke by Thomas Paine, which would seem very funny when seeing how stupid the kings and aristocratic leaders were, “Notwithstanding the nonsense, for it deserves no better name, that Mr. Burke has asserted about hereditary rights, and hereditary succession, and that a Nation has not a right to form a Government of itself; it happened to fall in his way to give some account of what Government is. "Government," says he, "is a contrivance of human wisdom. . . Admitting that government is a contrivance of human wisdom, it must necessarily follow, that hereditary succession, and hereditary rights (as they are called), can make no part of it, because it is impossible to make wisdom hereditary.”
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?/ Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

In one episode of Seinfeld, a woman said, I hope this does not freak you out but your pilot is in the audience, so when Seinfeld looked at the audience he saw the man dressed in the pilot's uniform and freaked out, which he would not have done without being told by the woman

In a episode of Columbo, he was in a modern art place and he said, this is good, it was the light switch, I do that joke at times, in art galleries,

Also a doorman was outside his own house, that is seindfeld

Jokes below are mine

My dog has no nose, how does it smell, terrible, Why is 9 afraid of 7 as 7 hates 9Why is I afraid of G as G Hates I Waiter Waiter, theres a fly in my soup, maybe it is doing breast stroke.Waiter Waiter there is a fly in my soup, Waiter says yes it is fly soup,

Why not put faces on the front of trains, to cheer people up,

What about playing a song, and just going spitty noises, to make it look like you have a eddie Murphy style voice trick but everybody knowing its just you spitting, and its very untalented, and just a song on the turn table

In posh restraunts when complaining you should speak in a higher class voice, to impress people,

A good song for the Smurfs to sing would Be When I'm Feeling blue,

What do you call a situation where a cat that has a hat as a trophy that sees its hat break a catastrophy

That joke needed a cat a list a list of cats for one to win a trophy

I was swimming in a place that said, no swimming, a man came over to tell me off in his boat, ghe said, are you swiomming, I said no I am drowning, the sad fact is I was, so people should not swim then in places like that after all

If Pyramids could talk, as celebrities of the Seven Wonders, they would say stop taking pictures of me,

Even the pigs in animal farm, said it was a sell out they could not understand, about how some leader did something unprincipled

There were so many star at the event there were more than fill the fermenant in a place where it is daytime

In a game I did the Robocop thing where the robot shoots the man who puts the gun down, on the count of ten, after he put it down, I did that joke straight after the movie in a game of play soldiers,

A other good joke, is somebody pretending to be scared of somebody and hiding behind a door, on the side, where if you close the door you can see the person but being in the same room as the person, but not if there more than 3 people in room, as you do not want people to really think that other person is scary as that is mean, its all a joke

A Woman went to finishing school, to make her a more refined person, she was told to walk as if she was balancing something on her head, so she moved her legs round about as if it was just about to fall off all the time, just balancing just back over to make the imaginary thing stay on all the time,

Why does Greedy ole Santa always come in through the roof, so when people say he's on the house, he says oh on the house about stuff, he appears, and says don't mind if I do, glug glug to the cherry and lemonade, no not really Santa is very nice,

I woke up one night to a strange voice, definitely not one of my family's, it sounded like it was on the window sill, on a area where nobody could get to, it said, you lied, this is true, but nobody could have got there, So I realised it was probabaly a dream, Anyway I don't think I ahve ever lied about much, Just imagine ghosts do exist and it was a ghost saying this, well it did have the voice of a deranged unhinged clever but not as clever as me, person, how funny if it was a scrooge situation and its had no effect on me, as I do not think I have ever lied about anything, it was actually just a very unusual actually quite cool dream.

In France, if you have a Nice Sedan, that could be like a French place

That Hannibal the Cannibal makes me sick, he seems to feel just as he had a tough upbringing that makes it ok, to do what he did, I say save your cry story we don't need it, Hannibal the cannibal you are a bully, and the lowest form of life, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime, Cheers from audience.

Thomas Jefferson was not only very clever he could have written sitcoms, he thought of 2 big jokes, There are 2 certain things in life, death and taxes, and also about land, its so valuable, as they are not making any more of it.

When it is snowing Mother Nature must have Dandruff

The Amazon basin, so named as the basin God washes his hands in

One time a man drove onto some field, and then drove off, he heard a noise, he told his friend do not tell the garage I drove across a field, as they will tell everybody, ehh look at this guy he drove across a field, hoh hoh, so lets make a excuse, that it occurred as we were being chased, by some people, So they said to the garage man, this then he said, why wwere you being chased, and the friend said, well we had gone on this field and so the framer drove after us,

A new name for a land rover that flies would be a Air Rover

Mr Lonympics says one of his underlings, asked if he could get a piece of paper, so he could scribble a few notes on, and bring it to him a few floors down the skyscraper, as the underling said he was a bit busy looking up the football scores on the internet, and felt it would be a shame to start working again, when there was a hour of work to go, and he thoughyt a rest would do him good for the party the next day he was planning to go to, which was why he was taking the day off the next day claiming it was sickness, Mr Lonympics came down stairs and said what a bear faced cheek, all the way, thinking this what he will say to the underling, he reached downstairs, but saw the underling was wearing a bear mask, he said, You you have a bear face, infact he may actually have been a bear,

A interview show could pay 2 million dollars in Britain for a special guest hiring in Billy Joel, to sing the US national them, and a US army marching bad to make the guest feel at home, then they find out the guest is not American he is Canadian,

For my 10 Most Powerful people in the World list and best cheese related foods I got them Mixed up, I wrote George Bush was the greatest Cheese related dish, and that Pizza is the most Powerful man in the world,

The elictricty man thanked us for the cheese he left us, we did not know, what he was talking about, then he said, it was very tasty althought I did get a sharp pain on my finger and I can not get the maybe Greek or something style maybe Roman I don't know maybe Japanese fonton bed style, small wood dish by the hole, off my finger.

Which man is the most embaresseds, Hugh Miller-Ation, I am sure he is not really, he is probabaly very proud,

I feel a editor is going to comment on one of these jokes as they are so great

(Editor's Note - Great jokes I have one too, who is the most computer like, Mr Com Pu-Ter, Hoh Hoh)

A tastse sensation which could harm your brain, and make your life worse, would be to go to the Sahara and not drink for 2 days and then have the wonderful water, so it should not be done then,

I had some bird's nest soup but it was just twigs, and I did not want it anymore,

Swallows could be good waiters, even if they spat on the soup they would be making more bird's nest soup

I was looking at Scandinavia, and Finland on a atlas, and saw Finland is not part of Finland, I decided a good name looking at the shape of them would be snuffles the Friendly Monster,

I heard a Radio programme say this woman followed this man about in a relationship in the soap opera like a spaniel, I thought, what so she goes around and away from trees, and to ponds, walking ahead, never actually walking aside him,

David CFameron, when asked did you take Coke, he should say no, Pepsi,

Which Country is busyest, Urgentina,

I Heart Money would be a good t shirt

My forebears must have worked hard, yogi, Boo Boo, Hercules, and Paddington, as I told them buikd this hut

I say Billy Bob Thornton, looks like a Pick Up truck in a way

Which nation has the most theri own nation knees, Japanese

I say, I should boss generals about, as I did General Studies

I saw a place on the internet called the Walking Stick shop, somebody may walk in, and say do you seell walking sticks

My campaign to oust the Inca monarchy in the 1400s would have been who does he think he is a God,

Maybe that archeology excavations in Mexico, that say the Maya rulers thought they were Gods, are just reading old grafiti, that says he think he is God, about bosses, they must have been mad the Mayan Rulers, crazy, for thinking they were Gods, totally loopy,

I went to stand beside a huge Hollywood sign for Cooltown, as I wanted to be by the C, so I could be beside the C side

An example of jokes we thought of

Some hilarious joke ideas for newspapers

A link to the hilarious comedy

Magellan, the Script

A Website for billionaires to read

Here is a page of less funny jokes,come back to this page if you don't like it, http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesmore.htm

Now some more really laugh out loud jokes, More Jokes we thought of

Even more jokes

And more http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokeslasters.htm

A site on giant sloths

A site saying some ideas of how to improve yourself

Villa Rental - in Association with the smallest website ever

A wise man is asked on who wants to be a millionaire, as the freind, and the presenter hears him looking through the books, it is a hilarious scene so he is chuecked off. if you would like to see a site by this guy go to http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokeapedia.htm

The end of this great site here are some more jokes http://www.lonympics.co.uk/Jokesfurther.htm

http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesagain2.htm More great jokes http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesmore2.htm Even more jokes, there are some jokes sites not on this site, listed on our other jokes sites, that are listed on this site, we have 100s of great jokes in this network of websites.

And our last jokes page, of our many joke pages

I declare this website the unooficial website of Abraham Lincoln and Julius Caesar, maybe it is ok to call it the ooficial website of Abraham Lincoln, and official website of Julius Caesar, and Official website of William Wallace, and official website of Robespierre, and official wesbite of Marco Polo, but then again maybe not so this is in a way not, just the unofficial fan club of, I also declare this website, website of the week, website of the year, and website of the day,

Now some other people's jokes, better look at our other pages, And also some knock knock jokes we thought up

This page is our index page of all our joke pages, but there are some joke ideas on other pages

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