Planet Jokes 2
They said so where is this train heading to, is it somewhere Romeantic, like Rome, and they said, no it is somewhere Baghdadantic,
Here is a joke for Bob Hope in the 1950s, at the Oscars, the costume was made by Coco Chanel, sorry Coco the Clown,
Spelling is important as just imagine, somebody gave a present to their wife sally and it said on it for Sale,
People say Esparanto has failed, but people are always saying foreign words, to sound cooler, so it has,
Why do people who own large quarries, as they hear if you have a querry please phone, us,
What about a millionaire who hears a lady he is terying to seduce wants a Turkish bath, so he buys a Belgian bath instead, just a normal metal tub, he thinks well it's foreign,
Most of the jokes on this page never happened
I gave my faeces on Diareha to the University
I was talking to somebody in the applied physics and biology department when I was delivering a pizza, and said, my ingenius theories, the professor said, may I see your faeces, I said, I don't know, I need to go to the toilet first, I did not know you were a cleaner, and would clean it up, but ok then, then they through me out
Somebody said, your sick, so I went to the mind reading place next door, and did the same again, I thought they said Psycic,
Made up joke I was thrown of the ship, for not wearing my underpance, you may ask, how did they know, well I was not wearing any other clothes either,
Which fruit does Anna not want to eat, on principle, a Ban Ana
People say I have ants in my pants and a bee in my bonnet, so I asked the ministry of agriculture to put insecticide on me,
Where does a especially well behaved bee go, a bee have,
What if after Lenardo Da Vinci painted the ceiling, they said, it's good Leanardo, but can you do it again, without all the funny pictures, so it would be white like they wanted,
What about a ninja who goes into a jewelry place trying to rob it, and just as he is above the guards, ho ho ho he farts ho ho and is caught ho ho ho
That would put the kettle on the other foot, now,
I said I do not need to watch the movie as I have seen the book, I saw it on sale in a window.
Somebody said one of my jokes before me once, but it was as they maybe went into the future, or something,
I was among those whop invented the football is not played on paper joke,
(Editor's Note Is this computer key, proof of alien life, I have never seen it before, |,) No it is not, stop inmterfering in my stuff,
I wonder if they will ever make a sequal to Once Upon a time in the west (Editor- hey I bet in nowadays they would set it on a space ship and call it star trek)
They should not invent edible toilet paper,
What do you call 10 carboard boxes on top of eachother, a Tramp skyscrapers, Tramp Towers,
Why did Beethoven and Mozart glue their hands together, as of the saying stick together,
Shakespeare talks of this sceptered isle, well not mentioning that his land was not a isle really at the time, as allot was not part of the thing he called it, what about my poem, this septic isle, staten island's Fresh Kills Landfill, once the largest landfill in the world.
We did a joke, a man said, r u an alien, and the other man pointed his finger, and went brrrr, as if he had done a alien thing, to the man's feet,
What does a gorilla say when it is on TV, don't make a monkey out of me, great joke for a christmas cracker,
People have heard of the movie, Blade Runner the Director's Cut, what about a movie, Roadrunner the Director's Cut, (For people in the year 2200, Blade Runner was a popular late 20th Century Movie, and one had a director's cut).
As a cleaner in the defence department I saw the delete key was unclean so I cleaned it, then I pressed enter, and I accidently deleted all the major files on nuclear defence,
What if you were at a football stadium of 60000 people, and everybody was singing, that you all love the manager, then they all stopped singing, and so you were the only one singing it,
A man looked at space and Uranus decided to moon at him,
What do you call a funfair place where you can never win the toy a unfair,
There was a famous celebrity, who we always used to say, about us knowing somebody who knows somebody who is related to a guy who knows somebody who who is a pal of him, but he got into some noteriety so when people say, don't you know somebody who knows somebody who is related to a guy who knows somebody who who is a pal of him, so we always say, No I don'y know what you are talking about, I don't know him at all, or anybody who does,
Like how after Bill Clinton stopped being president of the USA in 2000, and maybe Tony Blair, started saying when he was ringing, him, No I don't know you Do I know you, Don't ring me here, I have never heard of you, get out of my way, are you a tramp, I have never met this man, get this nobody out of my way, Ho Ho, of course not, ho ho ho,
A friend of mine went to Harvard, just to visit then he went out of it again
People talk about the Iraq War's Shock and Awe, when I take me shoes off it is shock and uuurghh
When entering New York, people always on boats have to go honkkkkkkkkkkkkk, extremely loudly,
I tell you, if you go to Southern France, and Northern Italy, you can have a canne as a drink, and a pisa, for your take away meal.
Which sports has the most rows, rowing, this joke is so good it would qualify for 3 christmas crackers, in just a pack of 8,
What about a joke where you watch sit coms, and realise lots of jokes are in jokes, about 1970s, stuff, well you could then watch a 1930s, drama, and not realise all the statements are profound, and are not jokes, that you have to realise are the ins and outs,
I always belive in teh opposite of Groucho Marx's view, I say I would never be in a club, that did not want anyway,
Anyway, I will leave this page with this statement, Don't get mad, get even Madder, (In the year 2007, there was a saying don;'t get mad get even)
The next step for Lonympics, is to get onto alien internets and so get advertsing money from there
(Editor I dont pay you to write stuff like this)
An example of jokes we thought of
Some hilarious joke ideas for newspapers
A link to the hilarious comedy
A Website for billionaires to read
Here is a page of less funny jokes,come back to this page if you don't like it, http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesmore.htm
Now some more really laugh out loud jokes, More Jokes we thought of
And more http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokeslasters.htm
Flight Las Vegas Nevada - Find a flight to Las Vegas
A site saying some ideas of how to improve yourself
The end of this great site here are some more jokes http://www.lonympics.co.uk/Jokesfurther.htm
http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesagain2.htm More great jokes http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesmore2.htm Even more jokes, there are some jokes sites not on this site, listed on our other jokes sites, that are listed on this site, we have 100s of great jokes in this network of websites.
And our last jokes page, of our many joke pages
Now some other people's jokes, better look at our other pages, And also some knock knock jokes we thought up
This page is our index page of all our joke pages, but there are some joke ideas on other pages