Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghhhh more jokes,
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghhhh is what some in the audience may say, no not really they would all laugh just like everybody else,
Another name for a epic movie, should be need the toilet desperately, bursting, eerrrghhhhhhh
The koala does not drink water, it gets water from leaves, so it would say, when offered a drink, sorry I don't drink
So I went to New York, and heard it called the Big Apple, and they call bosses the Big Cheese sometimes, so I called myself the big potato,
I will defeat the government's policy on nuclear power by a polic of passive laziness,
Just imagine you were a jockey in a horse race 20 yards from the finishing line, then you realise the commentry you heard is getting closer and closer, you look to the right and it is a talking horse, and Lonympics is going up the side, he is overtaking the leader, and he has won, Lonympics is the name of the horse in this joke, he is commentating just like a normal Horse racing commentator,
So talking animals, so just imagine you went to the zoo, and they were all talking animals, you would not be able to say, that elephant has a big nose, and that penguin has funny feet, ha ha, as they would say, things back to you, and would be offended,
People say wild horses would not drag me away, well a wild horse would not see any point in doing that most of the time,
But what if the wild horse was a talking horse, then it would have the power to persuade you aswell,
When horses neigh, people say they neigh, but actually often they sound more like they are agreeing at times, uh huu eeee, like that
Yes and horse whisperers, they would be suprised at horses talking back to them too, then horse mught persuade them to give up the thing, by arguments
So the last of the talking animal facts, would be just imagine your cavalry were trying to launch a suprise attack on your enemies, and then it turned out just as you were near their fort your horses, said, suprisingly as you did not know they could talk, whoo I'm shattered, and they all started chatting away,
King Ralph, the 1980s comedy, where John Candy or some guy becomes King, of Britain, satirsing the system, and almost causing it's downfall, should have been called The Man Who would be King 2, after the Rudyard Kipling Book, to get more viewers, good idea to do for many movies, maybe your movie is on a dull unpopular subject why not calls it Jaws 17, nobody will remember there have not been 16 Jaws movies, or they will,
Just imagine you were in a football stadium, and you were in a area with few people, at the start you see the opposite away stand is filling up, then you listen on your stereo, then you start singing to it, some minutes later, and dancing to it with your eyes closed, then you turn it off, and you look nehind and see the crowd is full, and the minutes silence was going on, while you were singing,
If a orange is called that why not call a banana a yellow,
So religous people, like socks, as they are holey,
So allot of places claim to have talismans of religous figures, that are old, maybe people just had things covered in holes, and so put 2 and 2 together and made 1
So people keep talking about that joke, Tie land, he saw Thailand is on a map, so went to the Thai embassy to buy a tie, the same could be true for Tahiti, so they have plenty of competition, do the tie nations,
I heard a noise, in the bathorrom, so I ranaway I thought it might be Slimer from Ghostbusters,
Some spiders do kind of ninja moves from lights, and drop onto the floor
I looked in a mirror, and thought hey what a good picture, no wonder people look at these things, No I didn't I am joking
I was walking along and I said, I blame someone not a million miles away from me for all those troubles going on, people were offended they did not know I was talking about a leader of a country 1000s of miles away,
By saying that you could even be blaming a alien civilisation spacecraft 700,000 miles away
A man had a appointment to meet Big Bird from Sesame Street, in the Big Apple, he got it wrong, they did not let him into the state as he got a few of the words wrong, and they thought he was just making a joke,
So a good technique some use, is to make people believe they had the idea, when they did not, like when they say, to me, that idea you had to call it that was good, and we may say yeah I did didn't I,
People say the grass is greener on the other side, for sheep that is often the case, so that is true for them, very true, very true,
When people say Shanghai is the gateway to China, it is Shang Hi, Hi,
Just imagine someone was talking to a bush, to make it grow, and it talked back, as there was a stupid person hiding in it as he was in a bank robbery, like the one in those 1950s British ealing comedies, and there became a miss understanding, and the man watered the bush, as of a miss understanding of what each was saying, and this got them all caught,
What do you call a big mamal in Africa that is highly clever but like a elephant a Hypotonue,
Bees would make loyal 1960s USSR spies, with the way they live, especially cagee, ones, the Cagee Bee,
For a football match it is a good idea, when asked who you think will win, to say Well of course the home team are far superior, and they have the best team and players, they are going to win, but also the away team, though just might sqeuek, as they do well in this competition, then you could say you were right whatever happened, also adding it may be a draw
Out catchphrases, the words we use allot, are and and the
So people say Ewan McGergor's singing in Moulin Rouge was good, especially when I tell them he sung Niocole Kidman's songs too,
Like I heard that the same actor performed all the parts in Back to the Future, even the kids,
Just imagine you had a insurance firm, led by 2 mr ands it would be call and and and
So finishing your sentances is good, like when you say you smell of perfume, or chocolate, you don't wat to say You smell, or you have a big nose clip, or etc etc,
An example of jokes we thought of
Some hilarious joke ideas for newspapers
A link to the hilarious comedy
A Website for billionaires to read
Here is a page of less funny jokes,come back to this page if you don't like it, http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesmore.htm
Now some more really laugh out loud jokes, More Jokes we thought of
And more http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokeslasters.htm
A site saying some ideas of how to improve yourself
The end of this great site here are some more jokes http://www.lonympics.co.uk/Jokesfurther.htm
http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesagain2.htm More great jokes http://www.lonympics.co.uk/jokesmore2.htm Even more jokes, there are some jokes sites not on this site, listed on our other jokes sites, that are listed on this site, we have 100s of great jokes in this network of websites.
And our last jokes page, of our many joke pages
Now some other people's jokes, better look at our other pages, And also some knock knock jokes we thought up
This page is our index page of all our joke pages, but there are some joke ideas on other pages