alternative joke ways of making a successful newspaper
Make up imaginary stories about people you claim you cannot name. Then say week after the secret stories about these people, who you cannot name. When really there is no story.
Buy copies of the best paper around, only print 4 - 5 pages of your own paper, then put the other newspaoper inside your own pages. Then sell your paper, for just 5p more. Then people will say we get two papers for almost the price of one. Look at http://www.lonympics.co.uk/
Give other papers, such as the mirror, sun, guardian away free with your paper to build up circulation.
Choose a name, that looks like the other paper name to steal the customers, choose a name like the That Sun, or the The Brittish Times, or the New Yerk times, or Figaroooo.
print photos of the other papers pages big enough to read what the paper says, so you can cut costs on reporting, then print the photos on your pages as "photo pages", and say you are not stealing their stories just showing pictures of their pages.
Print headlines in a question style asking amazing questions like is Tony Blair a leaving next week, and then says on the inside pages probably not, so he can't sue you for making outrageous claims that have no basis in truth. But the customer has already bought the paper.
Print a saying on the top of your newspaper, boasting of how proud your paper is of your nation. Then you can take advantage of nationlalism to make money. Then say the other papers, are traitors.
Back whichever party is the most popular and claim you can win them the election, even if you only have very few readers.
In case the party you back loses the election claim, putt another small column in a few of the pages backing the other parties, just in case.
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The Circulation numbers of 53 of the biggest selling newspapers in Britain in 1993